Mindblown: a blog about philosophy.

  • Major Revision

    My plan was to rewrite the majority of my story from scratch. I successfully did that for one section. I tried for three others, but only used parts of those to add to the original. I went through the story and made sure that all of Dawson’s sections reflected his desires. I marked all of […]

  • Mentor Feedback

    Mentor Feedback 1 Mentor Feedback 2

  • Complete Draft–Professor Feedback

    Dear Ashton, Congratulations on finishing your rough draft! This is a huge accomplishment in itself. And getting it done on time allows you to spend the rest of the semester revising. So, great job! Notes: Typo?: “I can’t feel my toes, but I can still fell my–” It seems much clearer to me this time […]

  • Peer Reader Feedback–Combined

    Ashton Letter 1 Dear Ashton The Homeless Patient Comments Significant Revision of Excerpt Comments Hi Ashton, Sorry, I’ve been moving into a new apartment over the past few days and I still don’t have wifi. So notes on my phone will have to do. But I like the way Dawson goes back and forth with […]

  • First Five Pages–Professor Feedback

    Dear Ashton, Congrats on finishing the first 6 pages of “The Homeless Patient”! Since it’s so early in the process, I don’t have much in the way of criticism. But I’ll point out a few things that are really working well and a few places that were a little confusing to me. I liked Cadence […]

  • Revision

    First off, I need more time to revise. Other projects, particularly those made way more complicated than they should be, are taking up way too much of my time. I feel very confident in the first two pages I revised of my story. The next four pages, however, kept falling flat. I’m starting to run […]

  • Motivational Continuum

    In The Art and Craft of Fiction, Michael Kardos creates the “motivational continuum” that delineates a person’s internal motivation (p.117-119). He notes five aspects of the continuum: Dread, Fear, Expect, Hope, and Dream. He notes that focuses on the ends of the spectrum (dreads and dreams) provide the highest stakes for characters and thus the most […]

  • Saint Maybe

    Thoughts on Saint Maybe by Anne Tyler There is humor at the beginning in an overly serious tone. However, as the formality fades and the events of the novel fit the seriousness, the humor ends. The book uses colloquial language that makes it feel more real. There is high tension both internally for all of the characters […]

  • Stygo

    Thoughts upon finishing Stygo by Laurie Hendrie Depending on chapter, it mixes 3rd person and 1st person narrators. The 3rd person sections, especially, have noticeable “you”s that stand out because of the seeming inconsistency of the perspective. However, the “you”s work colloquially to boost the voice of the town. The language throughout the book is very […]

  • Machine Dreams

    Thoughts on Machine Dreams by Jayne Anne Phillips As with Out of Peel Tree, the fragmented stories are hard to get into, but cover a lot more ground in time and setting. The use of letters for Mitch’s war memories do a nice job of characterizing him and his relationships with others through the use of small […]

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